Gabriel's View
by C.C. Grant
Summary: A series of scenes from Gabe's point of view.
1. I Am The One

Disclaimer: Do I even have to say it? (Closes eyes and says ten times fast, with a slight cough) I don't own Next to Normal.

Summary: Several scenes in Gabriel's point of view during certain songs he sings. They will be: _I Am the One, Superboy and the Invisible Girl, I'm Alive, Aftershocks, _and_ I Am the One (reprise) _I might add more. That's the order. Sorry, they'll probably be pretty short.

A/N: Yeah, I know, unoriginal. One-shot. I feel he is very misunderstood in Next to Normal.

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Gabe's POV

I can't fall asleep, as I have already "fallen asleep in God's peace." Ha! I wish I could get some rest. But I don't get tired. So, I settle for watching my family. Natalie has stormed into her room, and I know she's talking to that boy, um, Harry, Harold, Hedwig, Herman?—ugh, the boy that smells like drugs and likes my sister.

Distaste boils in my chest; Natalie can do so much better than that. Natalie can _be_ so much better than that.

Dad is in the kitchen talking to Mom, explaining that I'm not real anymore.

I know it is a bit off to make a birthday cake for someone who has been deceased for sixteen years, even if you understand that they are still semi-existent.

I narrow my eyes.

"Hey, dad, it's me!" I miss my Daddy—Dad so much. I shake myself and rub my eyes, self-consciously. Then I remember, nobody can see me but Mom, and she's preoccupied. But, I think, they will, they just have to, see me soon.

Dad doesn't hear. He's too busy, talking to my mother. I know he hurts about losing me. I saw him crying every night for two months after I died.

"Why can't you see?"

I try in vain to get his attention. Nothing works. He resists acknowledging my presence.

"Look at me." I start to grow angry. He still resists.

"Look at me!"

Mom knows I'm there. So, why can't Dad? He's still explaining to Mom that he loves her and stuff. Angrily accepting that he probably is not going to recognize me just this minute, I turn my attention on their conversation.

Dad is now trying to say that he's always been there for her and will always be there for her or something.

Mom is confused, seeming to make a choice, and chooses to come to me. I glare at my father. "You just don't know who I am."

I clutch Mom closer, and she doesn't seem to notice that I really am not _there_. I am basically just a cool wind.

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So, how was it? Don't just say "That is such a rip off, it was so short." I ASSURE you I'll be snappy with the updating. And there'll get longer. I hope I got this misunderstood Gabriel just right.

Reviews? They make me update REALLY quick.

-C.C.


	2. Superboy and the Invisible Girl

Disclaimer: Do I have to SAY it? Isn't it universally accepted that I do NOT own Next to Normal? Oh okay. Grr. I do NOT own Next to Normal. Happy? I think not.

A/N: Ah, well, I'm sorry I couldn't update quicker…hopefully, the quality of this chapter will make up for it. I _think_ you'll like it. ANYWAY, in this chapter, Gabe is watching Natalie talk about how she's invisible (Superboy and the Invisible Girl.) Anyone feel bad for Gabe? He misses his Daddy-or Dad. I love how Gabe can't remember Henry's name…ha-ha. By the way, anyone else notice that if you are writing for a musical or opera, the only really good way to get it amazing is to listen to its music. I'm trying to listen to some Wicked, but it's hard to write.

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Gabe's POV

I still am feeling tired, but not. Emotional and physical needs are strangely alike. You can get tired physically, and then you can get tired emotionally.

I turned eighteen tonight, sort of. Natalie stormed off to her room, muttering profanity. The boy—Herbert, Hernando, Henrico, whatever—is following her up the stairs to her room. I creep back up to make sure nothing inappropriate happens.

I hear them talking about Mom. Something about her pills…

Natalie is talking about me. I come closer. Something about her invisibility…and my…heroism?

Sis, I'm invisible (to most.) Not you. The boy whose name starts with 'H' (what's his darn name? Harold?) is just standing there. No expression. What a dull person! Honestly, she's got to get a better boyfriend. He looks like he doesn't even care.

Mom is coming up the stairs.

"He's the one you wish would appear…he's your hero, your savior, your son. He's not here! I am here!" I have to disagree. Technically, I am here…but I don't think I'm that important to Mom. Or…am I? Well, that's not fair!

Natalie's getting no attention…and the dead guy is?

I wince as I think 'dead guy.'

Mom argues back, "You know that's not true! You're our little pride and joy, or perfect plan, you know I love you. I love you as much as I can!" Now that I am aware of it, I can tell. Mom really cares more about me, the boy she knew for less than two years (not counting the sixteen I've been dead and appearing to her) than the girl she's known for sixteen, who is still alive.

But she does care for Natalie, however subtle the love is sometimes.

Mom's waiting for Natalie's response, but Natalie is quiet. Mom dismisses herself.

Natalie turns back to Harrison who is still holding his apple drug thing, his eyes never changing.

"Take a look at the invisible girl. Here she is, clear as the day. Please look closely and find her before she fades away!"

I feel really guilty. Maybe I should just have chosen the other…no, I chose correctly on my judgment day. That is, I think. On my judgment, I'd seen God. He saw how young I was, and all I really wanted was my Mom and Daddy—Dad. So, I ended up here. I get to be with my family. Until, I guess, they all die. Honestly (and I know this is selfish) I can't wait.

Then we can all _really_ be together.

I can't help wishing I hadn't died. Well, of course, I wish I didn't die! I wish I can be Dad's son; go fishing, crack stupid jokes…I wish I can be Natalie's brother; get to fight with her over the bathroom, protect her (namely from that boy…Herman?), tease her, be a bit of a…well, a big brother.

I hadn't realized that much how much I loved my little sister.

"Superboy and the invisible girl! Son of Steel and Daughter of Air. He's a hero, a lover, a prince. She's not there. She's not there. She's not there. She's not there!" I say the words miserably. But, even though I'm pretty darn sure she doesn't see me (or Harvey) I smirk as I say the words, defensive of my status.

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That was actually really short too…Sorry. PROMISE I'll get better with that. Maybe I should incorporate more of the lyrics. Well, next up is I'm Alive! That one is probably going to be insane and cheesy and stupid, just because I really don't know what Gabe might be thinking, besides chanting, "HEY! LOOK AT ME! I'm sooo hecka alive!"

Well, I've got to go. Happy weekend! Reviews are always appreciated greatly.

-C.C.


	3. I'm Alive!

Disclaimer: Hello. I wish I owned Next to Normal. But it will be mine soon enough. It just shows you. Some dreams take time to come true.

A/N: Hey guys! How was the last chapter? Poor Natalie. Gabe sure does have a bad memory when it comes to names, eh? In this chapter, we're going to dive into I'm Alive. I'm really nervous. If Gabe is a little insane…well, yeah, sorry. But, who isn't a little insane? Especially dead people. I heard they throw killer parties…ha-ha. I'm _so_ funny.

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Gabe's POV

The doctor is asking what and who I am.

"I am what you want me to be. I'm your worst fear…you'll find it in me."

I lean forward to see Mom…

"Come closer. Come closer."

The doctor asks where I come from…

"I am more than memory; I am what might be…I am mystery. You know me, so show me."

She looks confused, and I decide to let her know that I am absolutely in existence. "When I appear, it's not so clear if I'm a single spirit or I'm flesh and blood."

"But I'm alive, I'm alive, it's a sole surprise." She starts to nod almost undetectably.

The world must be awfully confusing to people who can't watch it from my kind of perspective… "And I'll show you the world through my open eyes…"

"I'm alive, I'm alive, so alive!"

Natalie and Dad are talking…"Four times a week, that's a lot, isn't it?"

"It's what the doctor recommended." Stupid Doc…

"It's not going to get better, is it? He is never going away!" Is that a _bad_ thing?

"I don't know, Natalie." Of course I'm gonna hang on! I want my family.

"This is one of those moments when you could be a typical parent and just say 'yes.'" But when have we ever been typical?

"Yes."

"Thanks, that's comforting!" Sarcasm is an interesting thing.

I watch as Natalie storms upstairs, just near me. Dad follows behind, angry.

You don't know what angry is. Man, when I found out that I was dead, I got pretty dang ticked off, for a baby. "I am flame and I am fire, I am destruction decay and desire, I'll hurt you."

I flinch from my dad's enraged voice. "You know, Natalie!"

I notice Mom's bag and see her pills. Toddler education plus evil big brother attitude equals bad.

"I'll heal you."

Dad is…yelling…"It's not all about your comfort!" _Yeah_, Natalie! Big brother attitude…always fun…

I bring my attention to Mom. Poor Mom. Stupid doctor; filling her with lies. Of COURSE I'm here. Hello? Duh! But, I am…dead. Weird; being conscious that I'm dead. Whoa, that sounds even stranger…

"I'm your wish, your dream come true, and I am your darkest nightmare too." I am a part of the family. I am a member. I have a mother, a father, and a little sister. I belong to them, and they belong to me. "I've shown you."

"It's about helping your mother!"

"I own you!"

Natalie retorts, "As always!"

I glare at Dad as he walks right past me and doesn't notice me. Why is it only Mom knows I'm here? Why can't Nat? Or Dad? Or that Herbert, even?

"And though you made me, you can't change me. I'm the perfect stranger who knows you too well." They try to forget me, and they seem to do a good job. But I'm still here, and I know them, watching them and growing up (if you are dead, can you grow up?) around them. I see the doctor's bag again, and I nudge it toward Natalie, where she can see it clearly.

"But I'm alive, I'm alive, I am _so_ alive!" It's true…kind of.

"And I'll tell you the truth through my wise disguise, I'm alive, I'm alive and as each lie dies, I'm alive, so alive." I just want my family, honestly.

"I'm alive, I'm alive."

Natalie's searching through Mom's purse, and is shuffling through her various prescriptions.

"Valium, Xanax…" I see her look quickly this way and that, clearly fearing Dad coming. But, it seems like she's been looking at me for a while. She is looking my way…

"I'm alive!" My sis knows it!

"What the hell?" I skip forward to see Natalie closer.

Oh, now, I only have to get Daddy—Dad to recognize me. I grin. Only one left. Of course, it would be the stubborn one…

"I'm alive, I'm right behind you, you say forget but I remind you." Exactly. "You can try to hide but you know that I will find you." And I have. I glare at Dad and start walking his way, hopelessly hoping that he will recognize my existence.

"If you won't grieve me, you won't leave me behind!" It's true. From what I know of human emotions from what I've heard from the various doctors Mom's been to, most people try to not think of things that make them hurt, but that doesn't help them get over it.

The doctor that doesn't deserve his title is talking, "You say he's eighteen now. Isn't that when kids move out? Don't you think it's time to let him go?"

Stupidity! Idiocy! Absurdity! Preposterousness (hey, I didn't know I knew that word…!)

"No, no, NO! I'm alive, I'm alive, I am so alive!" How dare he say that I do not belong among my family!

"If you climb on my back, then we both can fly, you're alive, I'm alive, and we'll never die, I'm alive, so alive." We can be a family. We can do it.

"I'm alive."

I can be a son.

"Yeah, yeah."

"I'm alive."

I can be a brother.

"I'm alive."

I can be a part of the family.

"I'm alive."

It wouldn't be normal…perhaps…next to normal.

"I'm alive."

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Okay, that was eight-hundred seventy-nine words. A bit better, eh? I want them longer still. What do you think? Reviews make me smile and make me want to check your stories out and possibly review them. Good deal, eh?

Well, I've got to go…good morning/midday/afternoon/evening/night/llama…

-C.C.


	4. I Dreamed A Dance

Disclaimer: I don't own Next to Normal. Nor will I ever own it. Sadly.

A/N: SOOO SORRY for the wait. You have permission to throw virtual rocks at me. Just don't get my face. I got banned from the computer. Um, enjoy the chapter. Also, in this chapter, you will find Gabe trying to find deeper meaning in song lyrics, and if my explanations which Gabe came up with sound stupid, don't blame me. Blame my uncreative brain. Oh yeah. (Psst, the reason I'm mad at my brain is cuz it didn't come up with Next to Normal. Don't tell it that. Wait, it's been thinking those thoughts about itself! We're being watched! I have a masochistic brain that's thinking for itself! Help!)

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Gabe's POV

I watch Mom looking through my old things, her main focus on my old music box. She looks so sad. If only it weren't so lonely, being dead might be quite nice. Very peaceful. But, not in my case. I need my family. Not that we are peaceful…

Mom would understand.

I come to dance with her. She doesn't realize she's holding air.

"I saw you light the ballroom, with your sparkling eyes so blue."

I am kind of confused. What ballroom?

"Graceful as an angel's wing, I dreamed a dance with you."

Still confused…wait!

"You whispered, slyly, softly. You told me that you would be true. We spun around a thousand stars. I dreamed a dance with you."

Oh, yes! Metaphors! Using metaphors. So, let's see. Let's say the ballroom is Earth…and maybe she's talking about my birth when she talked about my eyes. It sounds as if she were talking about the first time she saw my eyes. Okay. My birth.

So, the bit about angel's wings would be…yes, more about the baby again. And dreaming of dancing…dancing…ballroom. Ah! Ballroom is Earth, and dancing could be life. So, she's dreaming about my life when I was a baby? I guess.

Whispering slyly and softly. Sounds like lying. And the lying is about being true. Truth would mean—what I would have done that would be so important that she'd remember? Of course! Dying. So, lying about staying true…meaning…lying about living.

Spinning around stars. Stars are in space, or the heavenly bodies…heaven! Spinning…dancing…living. Living in heaven. And dreaming about dancing, after that might mean…dreaming of living in heaven with me.

How interesting. I was just thinking about that.

"I know the night is dying, dear. I know the day will dawn."

Hmm. Let's see. That would mean she is done dancing, probably. And stopping dancing would, according to my thinking, mean she stopped living.

"The dancers may disappear, still the dance goes on…and on."

It's true. People die, but other people still live. I try to tell myself that, but I know I'm quite selfish.

"I'll wake alone, tomorrow. The dream of our dancing is through. But now until forever, love, I'll live to dance with you. I'll dream, my love. I'll live, my love."

I am translating the metaphors in my head until I hear her next words. "And I'll die to dance with—"

That's when my mood changes.

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So…hope you enjoyed it! Have a nice day. I bet the review button is not having a nice day though. It needs a hug. Touch the review button. It is afraid of going a day without hugs.

-C.C.


	5. There's A World

Disclaimer: Don't. Own. Next. To. Normal. Won't. Ever. H-Happy?

A/N: So, I hope you were somewhat satisfied with last chapter. By the way, this is going to be ridiculously short. Sorry. And now, here we go. Enjoy!

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Gabe's POV

I am just too selfish.

I back away from Mom and stare at her. This is a terribly important decision.

"There's a world. There's a world I know; a place we can go where the pain will go away."

It would be wonderful, being in heaven. I'd only been up there that once. Mom would love it. She wouldn't have to deal with all this stupid stuff. But…would she be able to part from Natalie and Dad? I am too selfish. Wanting to take Mom away from Dad. And Natalie. I'd found her diary once and I'd read that she wished Mom would go away for good. But that she also prayed that wouldn't happen. Girls are too confusing.

"There's a world where the sun shines each day."

Everything is so nice.

"There's a world. There's a world out there. I'll show you just where and in time I know you'll see."

Actually, Mom might not like heaven for a while, seeing as she'd left behind Dad and Natalie. But, she would see. She would. She'd love it. Of course she would. Of…course.

"There's a world where we can be free."

Free of all cares. Free of all troubles.

"Come with me."

What if Mom doesn't want to come? No, she's stepping forward. I love Mom. She understands. All I want is to have someone to care about me. It is torture, being around people all the time, but no one noticing you or caring. Natalie doesn't know what invisible really means. _She_ can't even see me! All I need is someone to care. Please! Someone to care!

"Come with me."

Please.

"There's a world where we can be free."

It's nice. Please.

"Come with me."

Yes. Thank you.

- - -

Wow. Short. Sorry. But, new chapter coming up right away! Again, reviewing makes everyone happy. Have a jovial day.

-C.C


	6. Aftershocks

Disclaimer: Look, it's a bird, it's a plane! No, it's me trying to write a funny disclaimer. I don't own Next to Normal.

A/N: Hope you enjoy the chapter!

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Gabe's POV

I watch Mom looking through the souvenirs of her life. Mom's forgotten. I tried a few times after she came home from ECT and she didn't even notice me. Dejectedly, I try to tell her how she's been wronged.

"They've managed to get rid of me, returned me to the grave. ECT, electric chair; we shock who we can't save."

It isn't right! Treating Mom like a light bulb, just because she loves me! Where's the justice? Huh?

"They've cleared you of my memory and many more as well. You may have wanted some of them, but who can ever tell?"

How is it right to erase someone's memory of someone who makes them happy?

"Your brainwaves are more regular, the chemistry more pure. The headaches and the nausea will pass and you'll endure. Your son is gone forever though, of that the doctor's sure."

Doctors know nothing! They sure couldn't save me!

"The memories will wane…the aftershocks remain. You wonder which is worse; the symptom…or the cure."

Dad walks in, and I pull my attention away from Mom.

"Diana, honey, you've been at this for days."

I feel a surge of envy when she notices him. "There's something missing, Dan. It's like it's tugging at me. I can almost see it…"

Well, that's a encouraging. I listen with more attentiveness.

Daddy—darn it—Dad says, "Come to bed. If the memories are supposed to come back, they will."

I narrow my eyes in defiance. Is he deaf? Of course, I'm coming back. And I'm supposed to come back. I'm her son! She needs me! She can almost see me! She said it!

Horace runs in. I roll my eyes.

"Oh, sorry, Mrs. Goodman…I just need to talk to Natalie… about some homework. I know, it's late, but she's not answering her—is everything alright?"

Of course it isn't, you yellow pansy! Stop stalking my sister. Humph.

Mom's talking. "Henry?"

Well…Horace sounds cooler.

"Yes?"

"You remind me of someone…how old are you?"

YES! She remembers some things! Of course, being compared to that little druggie is kind of offensive, but still! She remembers, kind of!

"Seventeen. Why?"

"I don't know. Natalie's in her room."

Mentally, I remind myself to make sure the door to Natalie's room is quite open. Back to Mom…

I raised my voice, and followed, hoping she'd hear me. "They've managed to get rid of me. I'm gone without a trace."

Well, that's not exactly true…

"But sear the soul and leave a scar no treatment can erase."

Exhibit A: Mom and I.

"They've cut away the cancer but forgot to fill the hole. They've moved me from your memory; I'm still there in your soul!"

Yep, highly cancerous Gabriel. You know, there's nothing scarier or more threatening than a rogue Gabe!

"Your life goes back to normal now, or so they all believe. Your heart is in your chest again, not hanging from your sleeve."

Doctor Madden thinks that she'll be normal again, or so I've implied. Sadly, I don't think we'll ever truly be normal. Perhaps next to it…but never right on spot.

"They've driven out the demons, and they've earned you this reprieve."

I flinch on 'demons.'

"The memories are gone."

Some of them…

"The aftershocks live on."

I worriedly murmur, "But, with nothing to remember, is there nothing left to grieve…?"

I sigh and look at Natalie for a second. To my shock, and joy, she echoes, "With nothing to remember." My head shoots back.

There is quite a chance she'll remember. I know it.

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I love you guys. If you wanna review, please do. I appreciate every one and rejoice that I'm heard.

--C.C.


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